DATING: How to end your first date!!

with No Comments

Dating is fun, but can be stressful. You worry about what to wear, what to say, what not to say… And then, there’s that uncomfortable moment at the end of the date.

Many a good date has gone suddenly wrong in those last few seconds. Perfectly nice people freeze up, freak out and for some strange reason say and do completely inappropriate things at the end of dates, believe me I know I have been there.

I did some research and what I have seen from my members from The Only Social Club, a personalised matchmaking service for professional singles I compiled some simple, common-sense recommendations so that you can avoid those uncomfortable moments and have a perfect goodbye at the end of your next date.

1. Remember these words, “It was nice meeting you.” If it was an awkward date and you’re not interested in seeing the person again, “It was nice meeting you,” is a graceful way to end your conversation.

2. If you want to see the person again, and go on another date, let them know. You already have each others phone numbers, etc… alternatively, if you feel uncomfortable letting the other person know that you wish to see them again let me know at The Only Social Club. (It is a personalised service)

3. It you don’t want to see the person again, never say, “Let’s do this again, sometime,” or something similar. It leads the other person on. Always treat others the way you would like to be treated.

4. Don’t lead someone on. And please do not agree to another date if your intentions are incorrect and then avoid the person’s phone calls.

5. Keep it light. Leave something for the next date.

 

It definitely takes more than one date to determine if you have chemistry. So, keep an open mind and think about seeing this person again. Remember, if you continue doing the same things you will get the same results.


The next date has nothing to do with the last date

with No Comments

It’s 2011, and if you’re like me, you’ve already made (and broken) your New Years resolution. Hey, I don’t blame you. I hate working out, too. But if you’ve resolved, in the back of your mind, to make this New Years the last dateless one, I can empathize with you.

 

Love is important and by joining The Only Social Club or any dating site, you’ve already taken a valuable first step into making it happen. There’s just one problem. You don’t really believe it’s going to happen. You’ve been hurt too many times before. You’ve spent good money on dating but have nothing to show for it.

 

You’re recent dating experiences read like a rap sheet: Commitment-phobic, picky, boring, emotionally unavailable, narcissist, family issues, issues, etc, etc. You know the deal. And because you’ve had no shortage of dates that made you want to give up entirely, you’ve lost sight of one very important thing:

Take note: The next date has nothing to do with the last date.

That’s right.

Your last partner cheated on you? That has nothing to do with the next one. Your previous online date was a flake? Not the new prospect’s fault. You’ve never had a partner treat you consistently well? How is tomorrow’s date to blame for that? You already know this intellectually. After all, it’s not your fault if your date’s ex was a selfish, vindictive, backstabbing, emotional roller-coaster. But wouldn’t it be awful to go out with a person who truly felt that this is how everyone of the opposite/same sex acted? Who treated you as if you were a criminal, waiting to strike? Whose damage was so deep and walls were so high that you wouldn’t even bother to climb them? Sure would.

 

You can tell when someone’s been hurt before. He/she questions you as if he’s a prosecutor and you’re the witness – all because he doesn’t want to make the same mistake again. Suddenly you’re not on a date; you’re in an interrogation room. It’s not fair, it’s not right, and it’s certainly not effective. So if you’ve been burned, time and again, literally the ONLY thing you can do is to shake the Etch-a-Sketch clean and give each new date the benefit of the doubt. Assume the best and you’ll receive the best. Assume the worst, and well, you’re probably already doing that.

 

Your dating resolution this year shouldn’t only be like going to the gym or learning to salsa dance or redoing your bathroom. All I’m asking you to do is believe that there’s a single person JUST LIKE YOU out there who just hasn’t met you yet. And watch as that person responds to the new, positive you.

Dating Holiday Parties

with No Comments

What could be more fun than the office party and all the parties this time of year?

Yes, that was a joke.

For many people, the annual holiday party is a potentially stressful experience. Made more so by the fact of their single-ness.

We know the priority for many smart and savvy singles isn’t always networking or career advancement. Rather, sometimes you just want to mingle and see if there are any interesting people at the party worth getting to know (and maybe dating).

With that in mind:

-If the invitation specifically states, “You and a guest” and you are not in a serious romantic relationship – DON’T bring a friend to the party.  We understand the instinct, parties can be intimidating. But this is an opportunity to mingle with colleagues and meet new people.

-DO go alone. You won’t be the only single person there.

-DON’T spend the whole night talking to the same small group of people.  

-DO force yourself to mingle. Set a goal for yourself.  For example, I will talk to 3 new people tonight. It might sound silly, but it works.

-DO enjoy yourself. Eat, drink and be merry.

-DON’T drink too much. Watch yourself and count your drinks, especially if there are waiters constantly refilling your glass. You don’t want to be that guy/girl who got drunk at the holiday party and made a fool of themselves.

-DON’T talk about work all night. You have a life outside of work. Or you should. Let people see the whole you.

-DO think about appropriate topics of conversation before the party.  That way you won’t be tongue tied all night.

Enjoy the parties and Happy Holidays!

 

1 2