South African Dating Service | Singles Men Dating

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South African Dating Site | Singles Men Dating | Dating Service

Valentines day is here again.

South African Dating Service | Singles Men Dating  What are you waiting for? This is a new year and it is your responsibility to take that action. Men, are you still making those wrong decision and looking in the wrong places?  Are you still basing decisions on what other peoples beliefs or think you should have or be involved with?

Make that change now? Do you wish to be in the same place as you are next year, no-one to fill that passion, love, intimacy and have fun, as well as grow old with.

The Only Social Club, is a South African Dating service catering for single Singles Men Dating. Are you to busy with work commitments? Have no time for your personal life? Men as you are professional, so too are the ladies. Are you single, divorced and a professional? Fill in the enquiry form online.

The next date has nothing to do with the last date

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It’s 2011, and if you’re like me, you’ve already made (and broken) your New Years resolution. Hey, I don’t blame you. I hate working out, too. But if you’ve resolved, in the back of your mind, to make this New Years the last dateless one, I can empathize with you.

 

Love is important and by joining The Only Social Club or any dating site, you’ve already taken a valuable first step into making it happen. There’s just one problem. You don’t really believe it’s going to happen. You’ve been hurt too many times before. You’ve spent good money on dating but have nothing to show for it.

 

You’re recent dating experiences read like a rap sheet: Commitment-phobic, picky, boring, emotionally unavailable, narcissist, family issues, issues, etc, etc. You know the deal. And because you’ve had no shortage of dates that made you want to give up entirely, you’ve lost sight of one very important thing:

Take note: The next date has nothing to do with the last date.

That’s right.

Your last partner cheated on you? That has nothing to do with the next one. Your previous online date was a flake? Not the new prospect’s fault. You’ve never had a partner treat you consistently well? How is tomorrow’s date to blame for that? You already know this intellectually. After all, it’s not your fault if your date’s ex was a selfish, vindictive, backstabbing, emotional roller-coaster. But wouldn’t it be awful to go out with a person who truly felt that this is how everyone of the opposite/same sex acted? Who treated you as if you were a criminal, waiting to strike? Whose damage was so deep and walls were so high that you wouldn’t even bother to climb them? Sure would.

 

You can tell when someone’s been hurt before. He/she questions you as if he’s a prosecutor and you’re the witness – all because he doesn’t want to make the same mistake again. Suddenly you’re not on a date; you’re in an interrogation room. It’s not fair, it’s not right, and it’s certainly not effective. So if you’ve been burned, time and again, literally the ONLY thing you can do is to shake the Etch-a-Sketch clean and give each new date the benefit of the doubt. Assume the best and you’ll receive the best. Assume the worst, and well, you’re probably already doing that.

 

Your dating resolution this year shouldn’t only be like going to the gym or learning to salsa dance or redoing your bathroom. All I’m asking you to do is believe that there’s a single person JUST LIKE YOU out there who just hasn’t met you yet. And watch as that person responds to the new, positive you.

Treat Each Date as a Clean Slate

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When it comes to the single’s market there’s one thing that all or most daters (over the legal drinking age) have in common – they have all been on dates before, with other people.  

Most of us have had prior relationships. Remember, and this is very important and take note that those prior relationships are in the past. Your date’s prior relationships and your prior relationships are all in the past.  

A helpful hint is always to imagine that each first date as a clean slate. Sure, you may have had ex-boyfriends/girlfriends or in some cases maybe even ex-wives/husbands. But those relationships are now over and in the past and you should have moved on. Never mention or talk negatively about your past relationships on a first date. It can, in fact, be quite harmful.  

Instead, your focus should be on the date as well as being in the present moment. Do not focus on negativity as you will invite negativity, so talk about the positive things that are happening in your life. What makes you happy? Talk about it! Fell happy, feel joy and share your joy. And, more importantly, dream aloud about what you’d like to see happen in the future. 

Leave and save discussions of the past for if and when you get to know your date a bit better. Until then, leave that baggage behind, magine that you have a clean slate: no exes, no break-ups, no past relationships weighing you down.