Channelling your sexual energy towards your partner is a powerful aphrodisiac, but the ability to be attracted to others is always there.
They say that in long term relationships, as lust and passion diminish, you may feel frustrated with your partner and experience a sense of betrayal over what has been lost. If you are feeling ignored or neglected, you might be willing to take risks in order to feel desirable, successful, attractive and alive again. Are you fantasising about someone whom is totally “wrong” and out of bounds – your best friend’s partner, your boss or even a stranger. The thrill of danger is so powerful that despite the risk of consequences, many people do stretch across the boundaries of their own values to taste forbidden fruit. Sexual messages can be tantalising, flattering, exciting, and ego boosting. All too often, it’s not the sex itself but the attention that is so appealing in an affair.
If you are feeling vulnerable remember that sex recharges and renews your relationship. When the possibility of an affair arises, what you need is a change of attitude-not a new partner.
Tips
1. If you are dealing with the pain of an affair or fear that you may be close to committing adultery yourself, it is vital that you seek professional help.
2. Develop “skills” in your relationship: focus on your shared interests and your strengths, rather than the weaknesses.
3. Discuss things that irritate or bother you. If your partner’s behaviour makes you feel angry, afraid, suspicious or hurt, talk to him/her about how you could possibly resolve these issues.
4. What attracted you to your partner when you met? Consider what has changed and what you can recapture.
5. Show your love by holding, touching, caressing, listening, giving thoughtful gifts and spending time together. Try to do at least one thing to show that you care for one another each day.
6. Set aside prime time for intimacy and erotic enjoyment, and articulate your sexual needs.
7. Have an affair with your committed partner. Affirm that he/she is the lover of your choice.
